Still irrelevant after all these years

Pertinent issues regarding last night’s 52nd Grammy Awards:

Taylor Swift devalues music every time she tries to sing. She couldn’t harmonize on the duet with Stevie Nicks for Fleetwood Mac’s “Rhiannon.” Somehow, you can be off-key and still win Album of the Year with cute songs about wrecking other people’s relationships. She won a Grammy before Neil Young. In other news, logic took a day off.

The Black-Eyed Peas should change their name to Trainwreck with a Beat. MCs have enough money now to be conscious of how they sound live. Horrible delivery. No matter how many ways she contorts herself in front of the camera, Fergie rattling off days of the week in which to rock is neither tuneful nor expressive, only filler.

It would’ve nice to hear Jeff Beck‘s Les Paul during his tribute to, um, Les Paul. Can Imelda May double her vocals unassisted?

Can someone other than Kanye West be nominated in the (dubiously titled) category, “Rap/Sung Collaboration”?

Do we need a reinterpretation of “You Oughta Know” by a Grammy collector like Beyonce? Are those Jagged Little Pill royalty checks mailed to the right address?

Bright spots: Zac Brown Band shredding with Leon Russell; Pink’s high-wire act, and Eminem and Li’l Wayne. Smokey, Jennifer, Usher and Celine paying tribute to the King of Pop, (Although: Will.i.am motionless? What happened, Mr. E.N.D.?). Wyclef’s Haiti monologue segued nicely into Andrea Bocelli-Mary J. Blige remake of “Bridge Over Troubled Water.” —MH

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